TKG Sustainable Sunday. Walk About on the Farmy!

PLUS. How to play with an anxious child without spending a cent.

Aug 18, 2024

We spend far too much money on plastic junk, trying to entertain our kids when the best plaything in the world is YOU.

How to Play with an Anxious Child

Children often long for the undivided attention of an adult, but life pulls us (the adults in the room) in a million directions - work, divorce, marriage, single life, cats, financial worries, feeding and cleaning the children and keeping them safe, trying desperately to fit a little one time for yourself. But remember your kids get anxious too. The kids in the room have worries too. We do not realise how much they see of our day and anxiety in a kid often shows itself as naughty behaviour. Often they feel like they have no say, no control. To help an anxious child feel seen and secure; pass them the power of play. Here’s how:

Sit on the floor and say, "I’m all yours for the next 15 minutes. What do you want to play?" Then, wait. No teaching moments, no second-guessing, no suggestions. Just say yes to everything. If they say “what do YOU want to play?” You say “ you choose.” This is their time. No hurrying them. No counting down. No taking over. Take a big breath. Fold your hands into your lap and wait. With a smile. Then say YES to every offer.

I call it Power Play. And introduce it to the child as power play time and tell them they are the play teacher for this whole 15 minutes. For the fifteen minutes, your child has total control of the play. They trust that you will not be drawn away. Let the other members of the household know that you are out of reach for this period. This child has control. And I mean they have total control of the play. If all you do is sit quietly, paint a donut, hold a card, or push a toy car along a track, that’s what you do. Your sole focus is on the child, giving them your absolute and undivided attention and authority until the alarm goes off.

No screens. No books. All play. The child chooses the game. Avoid making it longer - fifteen minutes of Power Play will become wonderfully popular and some of you have more than one child!

Of course we play together as often as possible as well but this playtime is special.

During this time, the child doesn’t need to work for your attention. They can dive deep into play, confident that you will go with them, immersing yourself in their imaginary world. Or if they are not ready to include you then you sit with them - on the floor - and just hang out. Say nothing. Direct nothing. Make no decisions. Remind the child that he determines everything you do. A red car or a yellow car. Build the block tower. Whatever.

Accept every offer they give you. This Power Play time is total playtime. And it is short. So be available the entire time.

When the alarm rings, (make sure the child hears the ring of the alarm too) you return to being the parent, auntie, uncle, babysitter or grandparent. Hugs. Then get up and move to the next task. But for those twenty minutes, you followed their lead, giving them the gift of control. And trust. And being.

When the alarm goes off say thank you! That was great! Let’s do it again tomorrow. Don’t overstep the time. Obey the alarm.

Do this once a day. It is free. It is loving. It is sustainable because all it costs is time. And kids and time go together like a hand in a soft glove.

Try this and let me know how it goes! It is a simple formula for success and immediately gives a kid relief from anxiety. They know they have you. And they know we will do this again tomorrow. You won’t be pulled away. Never break the promise to sit.

The Cows

The cows in the fields are all bright eyed with shiny coats and good manners.

There is no pink eye. Thank goodness - I hate that period of the summer.

The Big Pigs - Tima, Wai, Jude and FreeBee

At the risk of overloading this already full newsletter. Here is a very short vid of Big Jude.

This week I am going to take FreeBee and Jude out of their field for an hour and go into this field with the mower and a tool box and mow the thistles and repair the back of the chook house. It will take some prep because we will need to be fast!

WaiWai and his ducks.

When I bring the big rescue pigs out I will have to relocate Tima first. I don’t want her getting in a fight with Jude. The peace on the farm needs to be managed. Farming is like chess - I am always thinking two or three steps ahead.

The Charlottes

The Charlottes are doing well but there has been so much rain that their outdoor environment has become a very muddy one.

I throw heaps of straw over the fence so they can have a dry space to relax outdoors. But it soon gets stomped into the mud. Everything is so damp. It feels like the rainy season in the tropics this summer.

The Charlottes are growing slowly on their vegetarian diet. Most pork raised for your table has up to 16 percent animal protein in their diet - I don’t even want to think where that comes from. (Though I know a guy who imports animal fats from China and sells it to feed companies.) My hogs do great on a vegetarian diet. They just grow at a less controlled rate.

The added advantage of a vegetarian diet is they smell nicer.

The PopPops

The PopPops have eaten all the grass in their run already so today I am going to trial taking them for a forage walk.

I will mow pathways in this pig garden jungle and with great trepidation I will begin to train them to follow me and graze as we go. The most important part of this plan is being able to call them back into their enclosure. So I can lock them safely up again. Especially at night.

They will be getting their 15 minutes of undivided attention!!

The plan is for them to forage through the fields in the daytime all winter (when the gardens have been put to bed) so we have to start their training sometime.

The Pond

My favourite downtime place.

Watching the fish. The pond is super clean this summer mainly (I think) because the temperatures have been so cool and these fish keep the rocks clean of algae.

The Turkeys

Otherwise know as the rabble. The malcontents. The wild things!

They are slowly growing - and very busy. They fly too, which is a little disconcerting. We have had no more deaths since losing one while I was away. The hawks are out.

The Chickens (and roosters )

Because far be it from me to forget the ever present noisy roosters.

The egg count is way down - I think there is a snake visiting and eating the eggs. Last time we went this low it was a possum who was eating the eggs.

But we have seen more snakes than usual lately so it stands to reason that one has discovered the chook house and its food.

The chickens come out to eat their greens in the late afternoon. There is a post on my instagram this morning (cecilia_thekitchensgarden) showing them wandering their field.

The Ducks

The ducks are free 24/7. They sleep outside the barn at night and so far so good. There are still four though this pic of two of them is terribly sweet.

Quacker

Quacker is less likely to be on her own now. She is almost always close to the others and I see less sign of them running her off. They have all accepted each other, I hope.

And since I have been away I have lost track of where Quacker is laying. But she remains steady and faithful though always a little aloof.

Cats and Dogs

All old and lazy and lovely.

I send Boo out in the night to walk about and make his presence known. I worry for my little pigs but there have been no predator issues so far. Farm dogs are the best.

The Fields

With all this rain the organic field corn is really tall.

And there is acres and acres of it. All chemical free.