Many people are alone in the holidays. Many people - particularly us immigrants - us wanderers of the world - feel a deep but elegant ‘missing’ that we call ‘I’m fine,darling’ during the holidays.
I will be alone this Christmas because all my family is dead. I have my chihuahua and my rescued formerly feral cat Keltsy and they are better company than a house I was invited to where the owner had killed 2 kittens living under the porch with their mother. I was appalled and had no respect for him anymore so sometimes being alone is very welcome than being with people l don't really like.
Oh Mary. How horrible that the death of the kittens became part of your Christmas - and the loss of that friendship. I feel for you and love that you commented about this. You are right though - being alone is much better than being with people you do not like. Are you making yourself anything special?
Do you have my chat thread? We are talking about old Christmas stories in or pictures.
I'm still thinking about that and would love to take a walk with the dog, BTW, I always wanted to live on a farm and you are very brave to do that by yourself.
I do have a husband there though (attached to his iPad) though he does not farm, he will help when asked, and I have my helpers, so I am not entirely alone. I am the boss though! 😂 and it is great! Have a lovely walk with your dog. Dogs are the best.
Thank you Cecilia, such a beautiful essay and practice. I too spend many Christmases alone and have made a funny peace with it. Many reasons, divorce, second good marriage to a non religious Jew and now a widow. I am Christian, so I still have the spiritual center of the day and the long night before and I like that other cultural crazy has slimmed down into something much simpler. I hadn't fully realized how much peace I have made with what disappeared over 30 years ago until I read your words. Now I go to my nearby son's home for Christmas morning with grandchildren, but then home as they go on with their day. I would be welcome at other spaces, but alone is better and I enjoy the day.
Making peace with it is lovely. Finding joy where we are. I used to think l was a failure if i did not have a date for Friday night let alone spending Christmas all alone. Ha! 😂 I don’t miss that!
Making peace with it is lovely. Finding joy where we are. I used to think l was a failure if i did not have a date for Friday night let alone spending Christmas all alone. Ha! 😂 I don’t miss that!
Ahhh. A beautiful piece of writing. And in my own way I understand. It took me a long time to recover my own version of Christmas and do it on my own terms. I spent many Christmases feeling out of sorts, displaced, and others alone when I wanted. I only just remarked to my husband yesterday it has only been since we bought this old house together that I have been able to recreate a nostalgic essence of the Christmases of my childhood up to age 8 after which Mum, my grandparents and the farm where we lived were all gone. This Christmas is the 20th we have spent in this old house, and following a challenging couple (or so) years we put up the decorations early, on 1 December and added more sparkly coloured lights. Today I'll start playing carols on old technology CDs and begin preparing our favourite retro festive foods.
Each to their own I say. I like the phrase "you do you".
20 years in your beloved house! Wow! Even that is cause for celebration. I feel the rising in you. And I love that you are starting your celebrations early - with lights!! Now I am thinking of scotch eggs!
We bought the house together 19 years ago as of last October while were living in the city... to work to pay for it! Snuck that first disorganised Christmas. Next year is our 20th anniversary and 19th anniversary of living here fulltime.
From US Thanksgiving through New Year's Day, (I call Tabula Rasa) this is my most beloved time of year. Trees and tiny white lights make me happy. I love my work. It does not feel like work and envelops me every single day of the year. A day spent with animals is glorious, along with a walk in urban nature and along an adored body of water. I am alone and my heart is full. Hugs 🌻
A truly brilliant piece a writing and I understand the context of it but how sad that you and more like you don't believe that Jesus is the reason for the Season. Without him, there would be no Christmas. Cecilia, it might be time for a pylasophical rethink.
You grew an enormous amount in that time, I expect. Your children had a wonderful experience thanks to you! And yes, it is a blessing, we can enjoy some quiet reflection and enjoy the family time during other seasons.
Coming from a big family it was a little shocking initially until I took control of the alone time and claimed it if you like. I had never lived alone - never spent much time alone either so this aloneness was new and strangely precious.
Lots to think about with this one- Feelings of being alone at times like Christmas even when I was still married...so much worse than being alone now post divorce. I hold onto the memories of when the kids were young and watching them in awe at Christmas time. I usually spend the day itself with at least one of my kids, but I do miss that we all are not together, that we are too spread out to be together. I wonder as I look at them if they will know these same feelings one day? I think perhaps we all do as aging occurs.
I tho one kids have the same feeling. I remember my kids when they got married working hard to get everyone together. It is so rare to get our whole families in one place right?
I will be alone this Christmas because all my family is dead. I have my chihuahua and my rescued formerly feral cat Keltsy and they are better company than a house I was invited to where the owner had killed 2 kittens living under the porch with their mother. I was appalled and had no respect for him anymore so sometimes being alone is very welcome than being with people l don't really like.
Oh Mary. How horrible that the death of the kittens became part of your Christmas - and the loss of that friendship. I feel for you and love that you commented about this. You are right though - being alone is much better than being with people you do not like. Are you making yourself anything special?
Do you have my chat thread? We are talking about old Christmas stories in or pictures.
I'm still thinking about that and would love to take a walk with the dog, BTW, I always wanted to live on a farm and you are very brave to do that by yourself.
I do have a husband there though (attached to his iPad) though he does not farm, he will help when asked, and I have my helpers, so I am not entirely alone. I am the boss though! 😂 and it is great! Have a lovely walk with your dog. Dogs are the best.
Hugs, Mary 🌻
thanks and I can hug my very affectionate dog and comb the fleas out of my cat, yuck, lol.
Love the images of your bread rising, fellow photographer 📸
I think bread might be my love language! It certainly contributes to love handles!
Thank you Cecilia, such a beautiful essay and practice. I too spend many Christmases alone and have made a funny peace with it. Many reasons, divorce, second good marriage to a non religious Jew and now a widow. I am Christian, so I still have the spiritual center of the day and the long night before and I like that other cultural crazy has slimmed down into something much simpler. I hadn't fully realized how much peace I have made with what disappeared over 30 years ago until I read your words. Now I go to my nearby son's home for Christmas morning with grandchildren, but then home as they go on with their day. I would be welcome at other spaces, but alone is better and I enjoy the day.
Making peace with it is lovely. Finding joy where we are. I used to think l was a failure if i did not have a date for Friday night let alone spending Christmas all alone. Ha! 😂 I don’t miss that!
Making peace with it is lovely. Finding joy where we are. I used to think l was a failure if i did not have a date for Friday night let alone spending Christmas all alone. Ha! 😂 I don’t miss that!
as a single mother, I remember and still carry some of this feeling
It never quite goes away, does it. It is a knowledge of incredible strength. Fortitude. Forged in fire if you will forgive the dramatics!! 😆
Ahhh. A beautiful piece of writing. And in my own way I understand. It took me a long time to recover my own version of Christmas and do it on my own terms. I spent many Christmases feeling out of sorts, displaced, and others alone when I wanted. I only just remarked to my husband yesterday it has only been since we bought this old house together that I have been able to recreate a nostalgic essence of the Christmases of my childhood up to age 8 after which Mum, my grandparents and the farm where we lived were all gone. This Christmas is the 20th we have spent in this old house, and following a challenging couple (or so) years we put up the decorations early, on 1 December and added more sparkly coloured lights. Today I'll start playing carols on old technology CDs and begin preparing our favourite retro festive foods.
Each to their own I say. I like the phrase "you do you".
20 years in your beloved house! Wow! Even that is cause for celebration. I feel the rising in you. And I love that you are starting your celebrations early - with lights!! Now I am thinking of scotch eggs!
We bought the house together 19 years ago as of last October while were living in the city... to work to pay for it! Snuck that first disorganised Christmas. Next year is our 20th anniversary and 19th anniversary of living here fulltime.
From US Thanksgiving through New Year's Day, (I call Tabula Rasa) this is my most beloved time of year. Trees and tiny white lights make me happy. I love my work. It does not feel like work and envelops me every single day of the year. A day spent with animals is glorious, along with a walk in urban nature and along an adored body of water. I am alone and my heart is full. Hugs 🌻
That is the best! I love that you love it. Your joy in the season shines through your words! Have a gorgeous few days all the way to Tabula Rasa!
A truly brilliant piece a writing and I understand the context of it but how sad that you and more like you don't believe that Jesus is the reason for the Season. Without him, there would be no Christmas. Cecilia, it might be time for a pylasophical rethink.
God Bless you my friend
Have a wonderful Christmas, Frodo!
Many thanks Cecillia🙏
You grew an enormous amount in that time, I expect. Your children had a wonderful experience thanks to you! And yes, it is a blessing, we can enjoy some quiet reflection and enjoy the family time during other seasons.
Coming from a big family it was a little shocking initially until I took control of the alone time and claimed it if you like. I had never lived alone - never spent much time alone either so this aloneness was new and strangely precious.
I can only imagine. I've always been part of a small nuclear family but the jump from that to... Just me was weird.
Lots to think about with this one- Feelings of being alone at times like Christmas even when I was still married...so much worse than being alone now post divorce. I hold onto the memories of when the kids were young and watching them in awe at Christmas time. I usually spend the day itself with at least one of my kids, but I do miss that we all are not together, that we are too spread out to be together. I wonder as I look at them if they will know these same feelings one day? I think perhaps we all do as aging occurs.
I tho one kids have the same feeling. I remember my kids when they got married working hard to get everyone together. It is so rare to get our whole families in one place right?
It would work if I could check the spelling before I send!!!