Or train station bars. While examining yesterday's choices through today's lens may seem futile, it can be an illuminating exercise in self-reflection. And yes. I used to talk to everyone.
I also love talking to strangers, always have. I know friends who can't believe I do it. I think they are mostly scared of being rejected when striking up a conversation. But I've learned to take it in stride if it happens. No biggie. Usually it doesn't though.
My mother had the knack of sitting next to someone in any scenario and begin talking and within ten minutes she got more out than a structured interview with the press.
One of my new years resolutions is 'connections' and this will include talking to strangers when I can. Studies show this is good for the soul and the majority of people actually are glad for it.
Connections. This is an excellent word to have in your mind as you ponder the year ahead. How to connect. A connection if something soldered in, too, and even permanent connections need maintenance.
That was quite a read and food for thought. The world is different. In an odd way because things have never been perfect or easy, particularly for women, and being one I can say this. But I feel fortunate to have lived in past times such as you describe. To have an upbringing that for all its challenges gave me enough confidence to navigate people and situations. Plus an element of luck, I think that I had no very bad experiences, just occasional bad management on my part but no harm done. I still have the confidence and am not afraid to say hello or no, start or stop a conversation... and know I have enough streetwise knowhow experience to back myself if it doesn't turn out how I thought.
Thank you. As a white man in Minnesota, I often feel comfortable talking to strangers in a lot of places, but rarely ever 3 minutes even. It is important for us to IRL contact - and there are different dangers in almost-2025 America that give us pause...
There are dangers. Though they feel nebulous, as though they are not fully formed yet. Still under-covers. I remember a black friend of mine saying if he is going into town he carefully dresses as a non-threatening black man - he had an acronym for it. As a person who did not grow up in America this struck me hard.
I know, it is not simple or simplistic. Yet somehow we need the human interaction on which society builds safety and equity. It will take work, and right now, we’re not moving in the best direction. Have a good new year!
2011 was such a simpler time compared to now Cecilia.
I can imagine you sitting in that dim bar, just enjoying the moment, and I get what you mean about how we used to chat with strangers so easily. It feels like now, everything’s wrapped in hesitation, like we have to second guess every interaction.
You got it beautifully. It is a thought I have been having a lot lately - but cannot find the right words. I feel like a woman’s place is receding. We are losing ground. The world is going backwards to women’s lounge bars..where we keep to our place.
I too talk to strangers and my children when they were younger always used to comment. Do you know that person? And why are you talking to him or her. I usually go into busy coffee shops and often share a table with somebody else. Sometimes they are engrossed in something on their iPad or laptop but often I get to meet a stranger and have a short conversation with somebody I’ve never met before.
I love it when a cafe is full and you get to share a table. I read a book where the cafe had a big table for sharing - it was a bit silly - but the premise was quite lovely.
I talk to strangers all the time. As Will Rogers said, "A stranger is just a friend you haven't met yet." I agree, you need to keep your wits about you, but I have a good spidey sense. In Spain, the coffee shops have outside terraces and we always sip our coffee (or whatever) outside. We often share a table with strangers as there aren't enough tables for everyone. I have met the most amazing people with interesting stories.
perhaps a bit of both, we've had more life experience having lived longer and lots of trial and error, and the world does seem to be less innocent, but maybe it's only more publicized now
I also love talking to strangers, always have. I know friends who can't believe I do it. I think they are mostly scared of being rejected when striking up a conversation. But I've learned to take it in stride if it happens. No biggie. Usually it doesn't though.
That fear. It gives away power: fear does.
I love talking with strangers, though my kids are aghast!
Do your kids know something we don’t?
My mother had the knack of sitting next to someone in any scenario and begin talking and within ten minutes she got more out than a structured interview with the press.
One of my new years resolutions is 'connections' and this will include talking to strangers when I can. Studies show this is good for the soul and the majority of people actually are glad for it.
My mother also did this. We would fly a few hours on a plane and she'd have a new person on her Christmas Card List.
Alli! She sounds great!
Connections. This is an excellent word to have in your mind as you ponder the year ahead. How to connect. A connection if something soldered in, too, and even permanent connections need maintenance.
That was quite a read and food for thought. The world is different. In an odd way because things have never been perfect or easy, particularly for women, and being one I can say this. But I feel fortunate to have lived in past times such as you describe. To have an upbringing that for all its challenges gave me enough confidence to navigate people and situations. Plus an element of luck, I think that I had no very bad experiences, just occasional bad management on my part but no harm done. I still have the confidence and am not afraid to say hello or no, start or stop a conversation... and know I have enough streetwise knowhow experience to back myself if it doesn't turn out how I thought.
Thanks for the trip back in time. Happy New Year.
Yes. Things have never been perfect or easy. And won’t ever be. But it is interesting to observe the changes in our patterns of communication.
Thank you. As a white man in Minnesota, I often feel comfortable talking to strangers in a lot of places, but rarely ever 3 minutes even. It is important for us to IRL contact - and there are different dangers in almost-2025 America that give us pause...
There are dangers. Though they feel nebulous, as though they are not fully formed yet. Still under-covers. I remember a black friend of mine saying if he is going into town he carefully dresses as a non-threatening black man - he had an acronym for it. As a person who did not grow up in America this struck me hard.
I know, it is not simple or simplistic. Yet somehow we need the human interaction on which society builds safety and equity. It will take work, and right now, we’re not moving in the best direction. Have a good new year!
You are absolutely and completely 💯 right. We need eyes, smell, touch, movement. All the stuff. Have a great evening Hans!
2011 was such a simpler time compared to now Cecilia.
I can imagine you sitting in that dim bar, just enjoying the moment, and I get what you mean about how we used to chat with strangers so easily. It feels like now, everything’s wrapped in hesitation, like we have to second guess every interaction.
Hope your Monday is going well!
You got it beautifully. It is a thought I have been having a lot lately - but cannot find the right words. I feel like a woman’s place is receding. We are losing ground. The world is going backwards to women’s lounge bars..where we keep to our place.
I too talk to strangers and my children when they were younger always used to comment. Do you know that person? And why are you talking to him or her. I usually go into busy coffee shops and often share a table with somebody else. Sometimes they are engrossed in something on their iPad or laptop but often I get to meet a stranger and have a short conversation with somebody I’ve never met before.
I love it when a cafe is full and you get to share a table. I read a book where the cafe had a big table for sharing - it was a bit silly - but the premise was quite lovely.
I talk to strangers all the time. As Will Rogers said, "A stranger is just a friend you haven't met yet." I agree, you need to keep your wits about you, but I have a good spidey sense. In Spain, the coffee shops have outside terraces and we always sip our coffee (or whatever) outside. We often share a table with strangers as there aren't enough tables for everyone. I have met the most amazing people with interesting stories.
very inspirational and I love it. I still talk to strangers but am definitely more careful about it.
Are we being more careful because we are older? Or more careful because the world feels more dangerous. I am not sure which.
perhaps a bit of both, we've had more life experience having lived longer and lots of trial and error, and the world does seem to be less innocent, but maybe it's only more publicized now