Lately I've been wondering about the Earth's heartbeat - there's a natural electromagnetic resonance of the earth called Schumann Resonance which runs at about 7.8 waves per second - and since it is induced by lightning there is a real truth to the saying we are grounded when we step outside with bare feet.
I used to work with high voltage electricity on hydroelectric dams and substations - I could visibly see the difference in temperament of the men I worked with when they were in the presence of these high electromagnetic fields... they were tense and prone to anger and they talked about feeling the difference as well.
You've come out of a rural environment and now are in urban Australia so I wonder if apart from natural homesickness your feeling the zing of being in a much higher electromagnetic field - personally I refuse to live near pylons or substations but each to their own.
Oh. This is super interesting. I had not even thought about this. Culture shock at its most elemental. I think you are onto something here. I am going to share your comment . I am sure other people will be interested in this too.
I felt your pain reading this. Those of us with our peeps on different continents will always yearn for what and who we are missing. I had a tough time when we moved to Spain, even though I was excited about a new adventure at age 65. Once I realized I hadn't lost those I already had but had expanded my connections, I realized my life was richer. Although, I still have my moments. Sending hugs your way. ❤️❤️
Thank you - yes - I feel like I have been on the road forever. I think stopping for a while might be the problem!! And yes to all the friends and connections. Lots more to make too’
Someone recently asked me what was the best thing about having a life on two continents. My reply was, "The opportunity to make more friends." You will make many more along the way! xo
I think what you wrote is true Celi, "I just need to give myself time to settle my roots into new soil. That’s all." Quite a different life you are embracing, so different from the Farmy and all of its animals and people you have orchestrated for many years now. Letting go and forging new pathways and ways of being will be another new, wonderful growing experience with many joys to experience along the way.
I lived in Ukraine, Brlarus, spent time in Siberia, Without a Net, a Sojourn in Russia, and later You carry the Heavy Stuff. Have moved over 3o times. If i hadn't, i wouldn't have met do many people to love. Now multiply that by blogging. Hugs esther
When I first read that you were moving I truly thought, “But how?! How can she leave that life behind?” Even though I fully understood the joy you were moving towards. This post expresses so well the complications of your reality. I’ll soon be experiencing my own similar/ different reality of a long-distance move. Your words will be touch points, I know. 💛
Good morning Kristen and yes. It is a complicated life we live. But we are eager to find joy in each landing place which is how we will manage. Good luck with your own move!! Keep us in the loop!
Oh how poignant and sad. I've been there too. Such times of alienation and loss can be so difficult, and lonely. Last year I was in deep grief for nine months when my family suddenly up and went to Costa Rica — son, daughter-in-law, and two granddaughters — indefinitely. At least I am still in my home and have my friends around me, not like 'the sad heart of Ruth, when, sick for home,/She stood in tears amid the alien corn'(Keats, Ode to a Nightingale), or you, separated from your beloved animals, your farm and maybe even your adopted country. Yours is a noble sacrifice.
No, unfortuately as I have a damaged right thumb and can't carry bags. Not up to travelling alone any more. But I've come into acceptance now, and we have a regular Saturday morning zoom when I chat and read to my granddaughters. Regular is good.
Moving and starting over seem so exciting from the outside, but many people don´t realize how scary and disruptive it can be. Even though we want it, it doesn't make it any easier. This is a beautiful piece.
I'm responding to your sadness over FreeBee. I think I know how you must feel. ..that if you were there you'd be able to come up with a thoughtful, creative solution and not make a hasty decision. I know you would. In your shoes, I would feel so helpless. And unforgiving. I think I've quoted Henry James before: Life is a slow march into enemy territory. A grim summation? Yes, but all too true. Leaving the farm has been an enormous giving up. Not that it was ideal! But standing with nature observing so much beauty alone is very tough to lose. But I take my hat off to you: you are about to greet a new life--a grandson of your own flesh and blood and you are creating gardens gardens gardens (despite TimTam digging holes.)
You have said it all exactly as it is. It has been very difficult. Thank you so much for your words. . But options for my daughter were pretty grim - if I had not put my hand up.
I still have sponsors such as your good self buying the pigs bags of apples and the treats. John is careful to give Wai and Tina an apple a day from you.. ( and I have a bag of pig treats delivered monthly along with my feed order). This in itself makes a big difference for me. Knowing we are all still providing for the farm.
What a beautiful writing about all the dislocation, losing sense of self while reforming a new sense and new approach, openness to listening and integrating and process of becoming. Thank you for sharing this honestly and openly. Best wishes for each day there. Waiting for a new life to enter the world is unsettling in more than one way :)
These wee babies have tremendous power in the emotional landscape. I think my daughter made a good choice by bringing me in. And I was grateful that she could make that choice. .
Your writing about being uprooted and transplanted is very moving. I volunteer with a local organization whose goal is to help seniors remain in their current home safely until they might decide or be forced to move to a different living arrangement. Sometimes that involves a new place in the same community. They can retain their friends and relationships. For others it means moving to a wholly different place. Friends are gone, familiarity is lost, community has to be remade. It can be a very sad time. I think it accelerates the pace of aging and decline.
I wish you success in making new friends and community. You've had to do it before. I think you know how.
What an incredible organization. It is so important to keep our old people in their homes with their networks as long as possible. Do you remember when I used to take baby animals into the old folks homes? It broke my heart how many old folks would then tell me stories of how they had had to leave their dogs or cats behind when they went into shed care. So many of them would ask if I had a kitten I could bring as they patted TonTons willing head.
Oh, nothing heals that dislocation and loss, except time itself, in my experience. Just got to wash the dishes, hang out the washing, walk on through the day that's here. Unfortunately, Sunbury isn't a hub of urbanity or a rural retreat, it's a raw town growing suburbs. Not an easy town to live in.
Sunbury reminds me of the small town I grew up in - in New Zealand. In the 70’s!! It is ok. Where I have been living in rural Illinois there is not even a cafe. They don’t like change. And they don’t like strangers. No restaurants other than pubs with very dubious fare and ripped chairs and twenty tv screens.
At least I don’t stand out here in Sunbury and people understand me when I speak. We are in an older part of town and just about everyone has been living on this street for forty years or more. And super friendly.
How is your garden? When is it going to rain! So dry here.
Wow. Big feelings. Big piece of thinking and writing... and reading. I've felt grief of loss of familiarity, displaced and homesick at the same time knowing it was change for the better. I have got back up and reinvented my self a few times... even without changing countries.These days I'm working on changing my narrative so it's about me and not my expectations of others or theirs' of me, sitting with my self just as I am, being me and doing what I do just for me, no external validation or participation. Tbh I feel a bit stuck. It feels like doing nothing, which is the hardest thing to do of all.
That is a tough one. Doing what you do just for you. Very tough. Especially after a lifetime of conditioning as women to look after everyone! To be fair - I try to be humble - but when someone says - that was well done - or - your hair looks great - it is a nice warm feeling . It helps.
I was also catching up on reading and read about FreeBee. I am so sorry.
On another note, remember when you lost the suitcase that had your pasta machine?
I remembered when that happened.
It sounds like you’re already doing the most important thing.
Honoring your emotions without rushing to "fix" them. Grief, even when it’s gentle sorrow, demands to be felt. Like the chain bracelet you described, sometimes our role isn’t to force the clasp but to hold both ends with patience, trusting our hands will steady in time.
I wrote an article on Medium last week about the concept of belonging. I concluded that we immigrants often live in doorways so we can see out and look within.
I love how you talk about the bracelet. I am certainly at the stage of holding it in my hand, waiting for the right moment to try again. I feel like I am living in a breathing pause. Waiting as I write.
Coffee is the balm that keeps giving ☕🤗
Lately I've been wondering about the Earth's heartbeat - there's a natural electromagnetic resonance of the earth called Schumann Resonance which runs at about 7.8 waves per second - and since it is induced by lightning there is a real truth to the saying we are grounded when we step outside with bare feet.
I used to work with high voltage electricity on hydroelectric dams and substations - I could visibly see the difference in temperament of the men I worked with when they were in the presence of these high electromagnetic fields... they were tense and prone to anger and they talked about feeling the difference as well.
You've come out of a rural environment and now are in urban Australia so I wonder if apart from natural homesickness your feeling the zing of being in a much higher electromagnetic field - personally I refuse to live near pylons or substations but each to their own.
Wishing you good coffee and fresh grandchildren
Oh. This is super interesting. I had not even thought about this. Culture shock at its most elemental. I think you are onto something here. I am going to share your comment . I am sure other people will be interested in this too.
Glad it resonated Cecilia - may the coffee be with you ☕🤗
I felt your pain reading this. Those of us with our peeps on different continents will always yearn for what and who we are missing. I had a tough time when we moved to Spain, even though I was excited about a new adventure at age 65. Once I realized I hadn't lost those I already had but had expanded my connections, I realized my life was richer. Although, I still have my moments. Sending hugs your way. ❤️❤️
Thank you - yes - I feel like I have been on the road forever. I think stopping for a while might be the problem!! And yes to all the friends and connections. Lots more to make too’
Someone recently asked me what was the best thing about having a life on two continents. My reply was, "The opportunity to make more friends." You will make many more along the way! xo
I think what you wrote is true Celi, "I just need to give myself time to settle my roots into new soil. That’s all." Quite a different life you are embracing, so different from the Farmy and all of its animals and people you have orchestrated for many years now. Letting go and forging new pathways and ways of being will be another new, wonderful growing experience with many joys to experience along the way.
Letting go and jumping into the flowing water is what I talk about doing - then I do it and it is like : whaaa!! What is going on! 😆😂
I lived in Ukraine, Brlarus, spent time in Siberia, Without a Net, a Sojourn in Russia, and later You carry the Heavy Stuff. Have moved over 3o times. If i hadn't, i wouldn't have met do many people to love. Now multiply that by blogging. Hugs esther
You have moved a lot Esther! Hugs straight back to you!
When I first read that you were moving I truly thought, “But how?! How can she leave that life behind?” Even though I fully understood the joy you were moving towards. This post expresses so well the complications of your reality. I’ll soon be experiencing my own similar/ different reality of a long-distance move. Your words will be touch points, I know. 💛
Good morning Kristen and yes. It is a complicated life we live. But we are eager to find joy in each landing place which is how we will manage. Good luck with your own move!! Keep us in the loop!
Oh how poignant and sad. I've been there too. Such times of alienation and loss can be so difficult, and lonely. Last year I was in deep grief for nine months when my family suddenly up and went to Costa Rica — son, daughter-in-law, and two granddaughters — indefinitely. At least I am still in my home and have my friends around me, not like 'the sad heart of Ruth, when, sick for home,/She stood in tears amid the alien corn'(Keats, Ode to a Nightingale), or you, separated from your beloved animals, your farm and maybe even your adopted country. Yours is a noble sacrifice.
Juliet I hope you are coming up out of the gloom of sadness. Are you able to go to Costa Rica to stay with them?
No, unfortuately as I have a damaged right thumb and can't carry bags. Not up to travelling alone any more. But I've come into acceptance now, and we have a regular Saturday morning zoom when I chat and read to my granddaughters. Regular is good.
Moving and starting over seem so exciting from the outside, but many people don´t realize how scary and disruptive it can be. Even though we want it, it doesn't make it any easier. This is a beautiful piece.
Thank you! It was one of those paragraphs that run through your head all night - if I don’t write them out the words keep spiraling!
I'm responding to your sadness over FreeBee. I think I know how you must feel. ..that if you were there you'd be able to come up with a thoughtful, creative solution and not make a hasty decision. I know you would. In your shoes, I would feel so helpless. And unforgiving. I think I've quoted Henry James before: Life is a slow march into enemy territory. A grim summation? Yes, but all too true. Leaving the farm has been an enormous giving up. Not that it was ideal! But standing with nature observing so much beauty alone is very tough to lose. But I take my hat off to you: you are about to greet a new life--a grandson of your own flesh and blood and you are creating gardens gardens gardens (despite TimTam digging holes.)
You have said it all exactly as it is. It has been very difficult. Thank you so much for your words. . But options for my daughter were pretty grim - if I had not put my hand up.
I still have sponsors such as your good self buying the pigs bags of apples and the treats. John is careful to give Wai and Tina an apple a day from you.. ( and I have a bag of pig treats delivered monthly along with my feed order). This in itself makes a big difference for me. Knowing we are all still providing for the farm.
But yes. Losing those big skies. Ugh.
What a beautiful writing about all the dislocation, losing sense of self while reforming a new sense and new approach, openness to listening and integrating and process of becoming. Thank you for sharing this honestly and openly. Best wishes for each day there. Waiting for a new life to enter the world is unsettling in more than one way :)
These wee babies have tremendous power in the emotional landscape. I think my daughter made a good choice by bringing me in. And I was grateful that she could make that choice. .
Your writing about being uprooted and transplanted is very moving. I volunteer with a local organization whose goal is to help seniors remain in their current home safely until they might decide or be forced to move to a different living arrangement. Sometimes that involves a new place in the same community. They can retain their friends and relationships. For others it means moving to a wholly different place. Friends are gone, familiarity is lost, community has to be remade. It can be a very sad time. I think it accelerates the pace of aging and decline.
I wish you success in making new friends and community. You've had to do it before. I think you know how.
What an incredible organization. It is so important to keep our old people in their homes with their networks as long as possible. Do you remember when I used to take baby animals into the old folks homes? It broke my heart how many old folks would then tell me stories of how they had had to leave their dogs or cats behind when they went into shed care. So many of them would ask if I had a kitten I could bring as they patted TonTons willing head.
Such good work you do.
Oh, nothing heals that dislocation and loss, except time itself, in my experience. Just got to wash the dishes, hang out the washing, walk on through the day that's here. Unfortunately, Sunbury isn't a hub of urbanity or a rural retreat, it's a raw town growing suburbs. Not an easy town to live in.
Sunbury reminds me of the small town I grew up in - in New Zealand. In the 70’s!! It is ok. Where I have been living in rural Illinois there is not even a cafe. They don’t like change. And they don’t like strangers. No restaurants other than pubs with very dubious fare and ripped chairs and twenty tv screens.
At least I don’t stand out here in Sunbury and people understand me when I speak. We are in an older part of town and just about everyone has been living on this street for forty years or more. And super friendly.
How is your garden? When is it going to rain! So dry here.
Wow. Big feelings. Big piece of thinking and writing... and reading. I've felt grief of loss of familiarity, displaced and homesick at the same time knowing it was change for the better. I have got back up and reinvented my self a few times... even without changing countries.These days I'm working on changing my narrative so it's about me and not my expectations of others or theirs' of me, sitting with my self just as I am, being me and doing what I do just for me, no external validation or participation. Tbh I feel a bit stuck. It feels like doing nothing, which is the hardest thing to do of all.
That is a tough one. Doing what you do just for you. Very tough. Especially after a lifetime of conditioning as women to look after everyone! To be fair - I try to be humble - but when someone says - that was well done - or - your hair looks great - it is a nice warm feeling . It helps.
A lovely piece of writing - hopeful and helpful - thank you 🌻
Thank you rena - it took some time to write for a Tuesday post.
(Catching up on my reading.) It is a kind of loss. And an opportunity. Take good care of yourself, Cecilia.
Hey Cecilia
First of all, thank you for the mention here.
I was also catching up on reading and read about FreeBee. I am so sorry.
On another note, remember when you lost the suitcase that had your pasta machine?
I remembered when that happened.
It sounds like you’re already doing the most important thing.
Honoring your emotions without rushing to "fix" them. Grief, even when it’s gentle sorrow, demands to be felt. Like the chain bracelet you described, sometimes our role isn’t to force the clasp but to hold both ends with patience, trusting our hands will steady in time.
I wrote an article on Medium last week about the concept of belonging. I concluded that we immigrants often live in doorways so we can see out and look within.
PS David and I banter a lot lol
We need to be careful about what we say hahahaha
Reading between your lines is just as fun!!
I love how you talk about the bracelet. I am certainly at the stage of holding it in my hand, waiting for the right moment to try again. I feel like I am living in a breathing pause. Waiting as I write.
pauses - especially these days - are the best.
Happy weekend my friend.